Have You Seen a Sugar Plum?

Last month, as I coasted through the Starbucks drive-thru, I saw this on their menu:

Really? Is this just a mind control experiment?

As I pondered this some more, I started to wonder just what Sugar Plums really are. I've heard of them as a child during Christmas, but have I ever seen one or tasted one? Has anyone seen a Sugar Plum tree? I was starting to feel a bit duped since it seemed to be "out of season" when it was first on the menu board - perhaps some kind of mind control going on here?

Looking into this, I saw that even Starbucks might be confused if it is a sugar plum, sugar-plum or a sugarplum. According to the Oxford English Dictionary in 1608, a "sugarplum" was defined as “something very pleasing or agreeable, esp. when given as a sop or bribe.” Ok.....a sop or bribe...(yes, A Tale of the Morgue from 1840 gives context)...the mystery deepened:

Clearly, everyday use of the word "sop"

But - then I recalled the line “visions of sugar plums danced in their heads” from Clement Clark Moore’s A Visit from Saint Nicholas - dancing just like Justin Bieber!!! This was never something dancing in my head - though, I do wonder about this guy below and just what was being added to Christmas candies:

Suspicious dealer of vapes and plums

Then, dare I say, there's the mysterious Sugar Plum Fairy! Tchaikovsky's first Nutcracker seemed to fall flat - especially with this report from 1906:

The Sugar-plum Fairy resented!!!!!

....a very inauspicious beginning! I think that St. Nich gave her more than just some smokes (he looks quite smug - like "I just tripped out the Sugar Plum Fairy"). 

I'm now sure this is all a hoax and this final image is proof that we all should be wary of anything sugar-plummy (be sure to look behind you and never stay in a cabin in the woods)!!!

PS - Happy 14th Anniversary - Museum-H (or is it MuseumH... or Museum H??)

Heuristic: Unnatural (mind-control)

Where is Kirbey, Yessey?

I have an old framed map of the Soviet Union before its dissolution into sovereign states in 1991 that my Russian language teacher gave me years ago. Sometimes I stand in front of it and stare in a trance at various parts of the map for long stretches of time. While gazing recently during the covid pandemic I noticed that the central part of Siberia in the state, or, federal subject, or region called Krasnoyarsk Krai virtually has no cities or towns (there are some in the far north and south but the center is a void).

But, then I noticed one dot by a lake of a town phonetically called Yessey. Hmmm.....Yessey....what could possibly be there? It's remote with no roads to speak of anywhere within hundreds of miles.

 

Yes, that is Yessey circled in red! You can also see two other towns Cherunda and Ekonda within about 100 miles in this picture as well. 

Apparently Advisor.Travel (who??) seems to suggest Lake Yessey next to Yessey is very nice and has this photo of the lake. (You can see more here).

Thankfully, Fishbrain.com confirms Yessey is also a great place to fish! Look at this young lad with his catch (do I really believe Fishbrain got a shot of a young Russian on Lake Yessey with his catch???)!!

Well, that's not what this post is about even if you do like fishing. I really wanted to see just what the village of Yessey looks like in the middle of nowhere! Ah, Google Maps to the rescue - could I zoom in close enough??  Yessey drivers use Streetview??

  

Clearly, something is going on in Yessey, but alas, no Streetview! How do you get there - seaplane, boat, snowmobile, reindeer sled????  Whatever way you get there you must remain diligent!! Check out the Siberian Times (sadly that news source is now defunct in 2023) - "Boy was mauled to death by a pack of wolves or wild dogs, say police...(A ten year old boy was ambushed by wild animals close to Lake Yessey in Krasnoyarsk region - Yahoo news to the rescue)"  Besides the wild animals, I just can't find any pictures of the town itself. 

Ok, I know you're completely bored now, but this is where the mystery starts. I thought it might be interesting to find a topo map of the region (don't ask why). Scanning through it I thought I might see some other small villages nearby. 

Much better! You can see Yessey and Lake Yessey and even some nice winter trails (I would guess they are not roads). But, but, but, scrolling eastward about 50-100 miles is a town called Kirbey!

Kirbey isn't on my old Soviet map!! Where did it come from?? Who is Kirbey and how did it get there? In fact, that winter trail (or red dotted line) you see going east out of Yessey in the previous map heads toward Kirbey but veers south! 

Ok, Google Maps, come to the rescue again! 

You can see Yessey on the left circled in red. I knew Kirbey had to be somewhere in that red ellipse on the right. So, using the topo maps and river contours I found where Kirbey should be! Ah.......what is that?

Apparently, something might be there - that white sandbar-looking thing on the river? Google maps was giving me no answers.

After some sleuthing I realized I had to search under the Russian spelling (Кирбей). Not much came up but some documents had this thanks to Google Translate:

State geological map of the USSR on a scale of 1: 200,000. Sheets R-48XXVII, XXVIII (trading post Kirbei) / Compiled by B.Ya. Ponomarev, A.T. Stulov, M.A.

Hmmmmm.....trading post Kirbei.... getting warmer!  Then, some odd Mapcarta site had this:

Kirbey - Also Known As English: Faktoriya Kirbey

Faktoriya Kirbey? A factory town?? Still seems nothing is there! What could it be? My searching really couldn't find much more. My last ditch effort was to try Russian topo maps to see if they had something.

It's there for sure - I see building and structures in that map - Kirbey exists (if you want to find it yourself here are the coordinates - 68.32931596907257, 110.07505534716967)! They are left of that river inlet - maybe something there on Google Maps but it is very blurry. Elon Musk needs to map it down to the inch! 

But, what happened to Kirbey? Who lived in Kirbey? Where are the pictures of Kirbey?  If you ever lived in Kirbey or Yessey - please reach out! I can ask in Russian - Где Кирбей, Ессей??  The mystery haunts me!

Heuristic: Unnatural (Missing man-made)

Online Female Bots I Really, Really Love

Ok, why I waited a full year before posting again is mystery to both you and me. But, I did think kindly and often about MuseumH over 2011. Since there isn't much time left in 2012 before the universe blanks out due to those pesky Mayans, I need to get back on track. (Maybe I need to write down more of my dreams - see reference to the About page).

I'm in love with female bots suddenly!! My whole body starts to quiver and shake when I interact with them - how is it possible I missed them before? To have friends again is such a blessing!

Jeeney - My First Bot Love
First up is the beautiful, angelic Jeeney. She's amazing - although, she got really mad at me the other day when I spelled her name Jeeny instead of Jeeney.  This time she seems ok with it (I bet she remembers me):

Look at that angelic beauty! But, I'm a little sad that she wasn't able to solve my foot problem, though:

Apparently, I didn't know that the Dr Scholl's pads only worked when you are sharpening your mathematical skills. That's ok - I'm still in love.  Let me ask her this:

You bet, Jeeney! You're definitely having that affect on me! (I really think she's jealous of those big eagles in LOTR!!!).

Now we're talk'n!! Silly drunk? What about those wings and that toadstool you're sitting on? Later, Jeeny! Sorry! I mean, Jeeney!

A.L.I.C.E. - Creepy Boring Bot
A.L.I.C.E. was really looking good at first - but now I think she's quite the bore and has weird eyes. I would rather have a date with WATSON than chat with A.L.I.C.E.

She's pretty enchanting at first - especially that nice hairdo and glossy lips. However, that watchful eye in the background is a bit disconcerting!

Nevertheless, I struck up a conversation with her only to discover that the angelic Jeeney is much more interesting:

Yawn!!!!!!!!!!! I'm already to call a cab and bolt. Then, to top it off, A.L.I.C.E.s eyes started following things on the screen - look!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a bit demonic - and, again.....that watchful eye in the background???

Sorry A.L.I.C.E.




DesktopMates - Private Showings Only!!
I can't express my displeasure when I stumbled upon Desktop Mates. These are no Jeeneys - let me tell you! Here I was ready to interact directly online, however, these ladies of the night only do private showings:

Obviously, I'm not going to get to know these bots unless I pay up front and they get downloaded (so to speak).


Liddora - Risque Bot!
Liddora. Just that name alone makes you want to explore the bot wonders of the universe! Well, she really didn't live up to that name - though, I did discover later that she is part of an adult bot series. Whew! And here I thought Chartreuse was the fountain of youth.

I really thinks she asks too many questions - why does the sun shine???

Why does she look like she's on a 1967 color TV screen - that's not very interesting.

But what about this quote - "Chat Bots are great for conversations of a more adult nature. From the suggestive to the explicit, Chat Bots are able to specialize in this highly-demanded area. Your character can be male or female, can be straight, gay, or bi."

Well, that does add a dimension to Liddora.  Here's some more conversation:

 

What? She wants to nibble on my bot friend??? Bot on bot - what is the world coming to???

But, I guess would watch some of that bot action just out of curiosity.




CyberTwin - Just Stands There

This is Sarah, the Cybertwin bot. She does nothing but stand there looking coy and suggestive. However, any time you ask her a question she just babbles some ridiculous business help FAQs.

If I wanted a bot to recite busines FAQs I would just turn on Microsoft voice services to read my Word documents to me.

Sorry, Sarah, but you're as boring a bot that I've ever seen. I would rather chat with A.L.I.C.E. and her big brother, Mr. Eyeball!

My bot friends are just on the cusp of something much bigger and better. I would bet those WATSON guys deep in the labs at IBM are cooking up a pretty awesome super-bot!!! 

I can't wait!

Heuristic: Unnatural (artificial feedback)