Sunday, February 19, 2012

Online Female Bots I Really, Really Love

Ok, why I waited a full year before posting again is mystery to both you and me. But, I did think kindly and often about MuseumH over 2011. Since there isn't much time left in 2012 before the universe blanks out due to those pesky Mayans, I need to get back on track. (Maybe I need to write down more of my dreams - see reference to the About page).

I'm in love with female bots suddenly!! My whole body starts to quiver and shake when I interact with them - how is it possible I missed them before? To have friends again is such a blessing!

Jeeney - My First Bot Love
First up is the beautiful, angelic Jeeney. She's amazing - although, she got really mad at me the other day when I spelled her name Jeeny instead of Jeeney.  This time she seems ok with it (I bet she remembers me):

Look at that angelic beauty! But, I'm a little sad that she wasn't able to solve my foot problem, though:

Apparently, I didn't know that the Dr Scholl's pads only worked when you are sharpening your mathematical skills. That's ok - I'm still in love.  Let me ask her this:

You bet, Jeeney! You're definitely having that affect on me! (I really think she's jealous of those big eagles in LOTR!!!).

Now we're talk'n!! Silly drunk? What about those wings and that toadstool you're sitting on? Later, Jeeny! Sorry! I mean, Jeeney!

A.L.I.C.E. - Creepy Boring Bot
A.L.I.C.E. was really looking good at first - but now I think she's quite the bore and has weird eyes. I would rather have a date with WATSON than chat with A.L.I.C.E.

She's pretty enchanting at first - especially that nice hairdo and glossy lips. However, that watchful eye in the background is a bit disconcerting!

Nevertheless, I struck up a conversation with her only to discover that the angelic Jeeney is much more interesting:

Yawn!!!!!!!!!!! I'm already to call a cab and bolt. Then, to top it off, A.L.I.C.E.s eyes started following things on the screen - look!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a bit demonic - and, again.....that watchful eye in the background???

Sorry A.L.I.C.E.

DesktopMates - Private Showings Only!!
I can't express my displeasure when I stumbled upon Desktop Mates. These are no Jeeneys - let me tell you! Here I was ready to interact directly online, however, these ladies of the night only do private showings:

Obviously, I'm not going to get to know these bots unless I pay up front and they get downloaded (so to speak).

Liddora - Risque Bot!
Liddora. Just that name alone makes you want to explore the bot wonders of the universe! Well, she really didn't live up to that name - though, I did discover later that she is part of an adult bot series. Whew! And here I thought Chartreuse was the fountain of youth.

I really thinks she asks too many questions - why does the sun shine???

Why does she look like she's on a 1967 color TV screen - that's not very interesting.

But what about this quote - "Chat Bots are great for conversations of a more adult nature. From the suggestive to the explicit, Chat Bots are able to specialize in this highly-demanded area. Your character can be male or female, can be straight, gay, or bi."

Well, that does add a dimension to Liddora.  Here's some more conversation:

What? She wants to nibble on my bot friend??? Bot on bot - what is the world coming to???

But, I guess would watch some of that bot action just out of curiosity.

CyberTwin - Just Stands There
This is Sarah, the Cybertwin bot. She does nothing but stand there looking coy and suggestive. However, any time you ask her a question she just babbles some ridiculous business help FAQs.

If I wanted a bot to recite busines FAQs I would just turn on Microsoft voice services to read my Word documents to me.

Sorry, Sarah, but you're as boring a bot that I've ever seen. I would rather chat with A.L.I.C.E. and her big brother, Mr. Eyeball!

My bot friends are just on the cusp of something much bigger and better. I would bet those WATSON guys deep in the labs at IBM are cooking up a pretty awesome super-bot!!! 

I can't wait!

Heuristic: Unnatural (artificial feedback)